After a full day of kitchen work, we are left with vegetable peels, stems, cores, and pretty much unusable food waste. Rather than throw them away, we decided to compost it all. As composting can be a stinky endeavor, we use this method to achieve a significantly less pungent compost:
Now, you're probably asking: Does the above even yield good compost? It seems too sanitized to be true... where is all the muck and gunk and...fermentation?
Well here's how we tested the quality of the compost, like what responsible noob farmers would do:
1) We gave it to whomever wanted compost
2) We put our compost on everything in our garden. EVERYTHING.
First we started with the seedlings, maybe give them an extra boost. Next every herb in the garden. Lastly, all the fruit trees we could find, regardless whether they were alive, dying, fruitful, or barren.
The results? Our compost turned everything it touched to gold. See above - not stock photos! These are actually pictures we took from our garden. Our Thai Basil started to hit puberty, growing taller and erm....bush-ier (sorry for the unnecessarily graphic analogy) while the fruit trees decided that it was fruit bearing time. One surprise though was the appearance of an innocuous pimply pockmarked chilli on a previously barren plant.
The Legend Begins: What is that plant?
As our garden started to flourish, we wanted to make room for more edible vegetables. In one corner, we found a gangly, seemingly unknown alien plant. It never bore fruit or flowers, it had thus forth been a net negative of a plant. Before we replaced it, we decided to give it one last chance by piling on our Prepped compost.
A few weeks in - BOOM: Chillis started showing up.
Identification please: How hot can a chilli really be?
OK, no sweat right? We're a chilli padi nation, and being able to take spice is a badge of honor. Seriously, how bad can it be? It's probably a habanero. A bit spicer than the chilli padi, but whatevs right. So we did the unthinkable, we took a bite. YES, chomped down on that chilli.
It started off sweet...then OH MA GAWD
Maybe it was an off day? So...we tried again. This time we dipped it soy sauce, and gingerly sipped the soy sauce. Nope, nope nope nope....still hot.
So we took a closer look, and noticed these rough bumps on the skin of the chilli... and started to suspect that it might not actually be a habanero. After a few minutes of Google image searching (between breaks of milk chugging), we narrowed our options down to the Carolina Reaper or the Naga Viper, variants of chilli almost 44 times hotter than chilli padi. We think this needs to be re-classified as a chemical weapon.
A few days later, our uncle came clean.....he was the one that planted the plant. It was indeed the Carolina Reaper.
So, what are we going to do with this? The same thing all noob farmers do: we'll give one to whoever wants one. If you dare to eat it and tag us with a picture of you and the Reaper. Before you say yes, we leave you with the picture of our new found hero: the snail that eats the Carolina Reaper. Be that snail!
Public Service Announcement: No Prepped Kits will be made with the Reaper. NOT NOW, NOT EVER.